Ok, I haven't really posted a journal in a while. So I thought that I would post up some funny stuff that happens in my Junior English class that I hope will make you guys laugh. Now, I really feel like this class should be a junior high class somtimes. You will see why in just a moment. Let me explain. We have some talkative students in that class, and everyday, the good students have to put up with them, (which mst of the time isn't hard because the often make us laugh). Ms. Geiser and Mrs. Shores (both appear in this wonderful adventure) are the teachers of the class.(Ms. Geiser, by the way, loves to talk with different accents. Just to make it a little more fun. She changes ccents throught out this list of events). They are two different english teachers that, for 5th hour, converge to one class room. Now with that said, I hope you enjoy my class' stupidity.
Ms. Geiser: *says with a british accent* "alright, now go on ver and get that lovely gold and black book off the shelf that we love so much!"
Ms. Geiser: "Now turn to page 516!"
Jorge: "What page?"
Ms. Geiser: "516"
Jillian: "what page?"
Mrs. Shores: "516!"
Jesus: "What page?"
Ms. Geiser: *yells rather loundly* "516!!!!! OPEN UP YOUR EARS!!!!GOD!!!!!!"
Mrs. Shores: "Alright Kitties! (she calls us that all the time), now why was there so much tension back in that time period?"
Jorge:"Cause they're a bunch of racist motha F***ers!"
Mrs. Shores:"bascally, yeah. now why was that?"
Jesus:"Cause they're a bunch of jackasses"
Mrs. Shores:"that's basically what jorge just said Jesus..."
Jorge:"I get more boo than ghosts!!!!"
Darian:"I get more boo than Blue's Clues!!!"
Jorge:"I get more boo that Monster's Inc.!!!!!!!"
Mrs. Shores:"I love how color coded you are everyday Emerson!
Emerson:"Gotta be! Smy Swag!"
Dex:"Man, you got no swag!"
Emerson:"Do to! More than you!"
Darian:"Dude! NO! I got swag!"
Jorge:*randomly decides to chime in* "SWAG!!!!!"
Ms. Geiser:"Hey swags! Do your work!"
Ms. Geiser:*says in some cross between a British and Irish accent*"Alright class, we be talkin bout Edger Allen Poe now. He be a writer, a poet,-"
Mrs. Shores:"He is my favorite writer of all time! Like, I laugh at hs work. I find it amusing."
Jesus:"woman, you sick"
Emerson:"You're messed up Shores..."
*moments after reading one of his stories*
Me:"Dude....this guy is messed up.."
Jorge:"This guy needs a Bitch-slappin'!"
Jorge:"YO!! GEISER!! Listn up yo! I gotta pee! Can I go?!"
Ms. Geiser:*yells in a British accent*"NO!!!! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED!!!!"
Mrs. Shores:"looks like you have to se your pants Jorge."
Jorge:"no way!!! I aint using my pants!!! Geiser please!!!! It's urgent!!!!! I gotta go!"
write yourself a pass."
Geiser:"HEY! Did you gys hear about the new district law they are trying to get through?"
Geiser:"They are trying to pass this thing that suspends teachers from school for a week if they cuss in class" *Then says innocently and sarcastically* "So no cussing, cause being suspended would be a BAD thing..."
Shores:"Are you kidding? I'de be throwing down the F-Bomb and cussing you guys out just so I coujld be free for a week!"
Class:*walks in a finds a huge pile of papers on the ground in the middle of the room*"WTF?!"
Geiser:"oh yeah! I had a student come into my 4th hour and completely throw a random fit just for fun. He threw papers across the room, he marched on top of the desks, and then threw a desk over and left.......it was awesome!"
*later, towards the end of class*
Shores:"alright geiser, I'm leaving."
Shores:"Oh wait!" *walks over to the pile of papers and kicks it across the room* "NOW I'm leaving."
Class:*somewhat silently working*
Geiser: *Walks towards the door, passing the trash can and recycle bin* "WHAT IS THIS CRAP??!!!!! THE RECYCLE BIN IS FOR PAPER ONLY!!!!NOT YOUR STUPID FOOD AND DRINK TRASH!!!!! *picks up recycle bin and throws it across the room, stringing trash everywhere*
"uh.......are you gonna pick that up?"
Geiser:"........nah, I'll make the janitor get it"
Geiser:"alright class, I want you to,"*turns to the board and starts writing*,"an extended paragraph on what annoys you.........wait, no."*erases what she just wrote and rewrites : (And she actually did this) Rite an Eckstendedd Parrygraff on wut anoiz yu.*
Shores:*laughing histarically in the back of the room*
Geiser:*then writes: Example- Thu gurl anoiz me cuz she iz loud....*
Shores:"You know the sad thing is I know a couple kids who write like that"
Shores:*walks into the room coughing* "ok guys, be nice today, I feel like crap! Geiser's sick to, but she was smart and got a sub to come in whle she stayed at home in bed. I did not. So I came to work today with a cold."
Vasa:"Whoa! stay away from me then! Just stay over there! I don't want to get sick!"
Shores:*walk over to Vasa's desk (which was right next to mine, so I got a front row seat to this one
) and hovers over him and coughs*
Vasa: "no!!!! what the heck are you doing!!!! Stay away from me!!!!" *picks up his back pack and goes to the other side of the room*
Shores:*starts laughing and sits on his desk*
Vasa: "WTF!!!! NOW YOUR SICK GERMS ARE ALL OVER MY DESK!!!!!"
(I'm just gonna add that I'm trying not to fall out of mt desk laughing at this point, along with a couple other students)
Shores: *laughs and walks away to start the lesson*
*about five minutes later*
Vasa: *walks back over with hand sanatizer and tissues* (I guess he thought that was gonna clea his desk
"You know that stuff is about as affective as water right?"
Geiser:*says in a southern accent* "Jorge, hun if yalls are constipated, why don't ya just go stand on outside..."
(quick fill in on this one before you read it. I was in D.C. half way through district testing, So I had to make it up what I missed in like 2 days. My friend Miguel was there the whole time and got the chance to do it. I literally filled this essay with BS and handed it in. Some of it didn't make much sense to me, that's how bad it was. I scored higher than miguel, who, might I add, Doesn't put much effort into his writing, but still gets great scores. He looks at it and goes "WTF?!!!! Geiser!!! This is bull!!!!! who graded these!!!!!! I demand to know!!!! I need to talk to them!!!!!" I'm just sitting there laughing histarically. Now with that said, read on. The distrct test was a few weeks before this.)
*miguel and I had the same length answers on our study guides*
Geiser:*walks by and looks at Miguel's paper* "NO! fill in those answers!!! more words!!!!" *walks by me, looks at MY paper, and picks it up*
Miguel: "Whoa!! wait!! hold on!!! You just did that cause I'm a smart person huh?!" *turns to me* "you're just trying to show me up...."
Me: "Yeah, like I did on the district test?
Geiser: *upon hearing what I just said, turns around laughing* "ooOOOOOHHHHhhh!!!!"
Miguel: "WAIT! WHOA! NO! THAT WAS BULL CRAP!!!! WHO GRADED THOS STUPID THINGS?!!!! I NEED TO TALK TO THEM!!!!!"
Jorge:*babbling on about god knows what. No one really knew what he was doing*
Monte: "........dude, did your ever drop you?!"
Class: *laughs a little*
Geiser: *says in some chinese accent* "OOOOOOOH!!! Baby go BOUNCY!!! Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy baby!!!
Class: *starts laughing even more (Jorge is practically falling out of his chair by now he was laughing so hard)*
Thank you for wasting time out of your day to read quotes from my retarded English class. I hope you guys enjoyed reading, cause I enjoyed when these acually happened. Now you know why I aften feel like I'm in a junior high class room.